"Without education, you are not going anywhere in this world." Malcolm X

I saw this quote: "Without education, you are not going anywhere in this world." Malcolm X.  I thought how appropriate for my next diabetes blog.  I want to challenge all my followers to think about diabetes when you read this quote.  I believe this quotes is the reasoning behind diseases (any disease) having a day, a month, a symbol and etc.  I have seen many negative posts from people on blogs, facebook and all over saying that by wearing blue it is not going to cure diabetes.  By wearing a pin it will not make diabetes go away.  True, the color itself will not cure diabetes, but it will get peoples attention and it might make them curious enough to read an article, book or some type of publication regarding diabetes.  I think the more we can educate people regarding diabetes the closer we will be to finding a cure.   Now comes my challenge to all my followers find something out about diabetes that you were unaware of this month.  Just by reading my blog all month I hope to give you some type of info about diabetes that you were not aware of.  Find out what a diabetic/diabetic family goes through in a 24 hour period.  If anything find out the symptoms so that you as a parent will be aware of what to watch for in your own children and grand-children.  Just learn something new about diabetes.  I would love for you to comment on here what you did learn.  Thanks for all the love and support each of you give my diabetic daily.  We couldn't do it without you.  Have a great day and remember Friday the 5th is the T-1 Luminary day light up your luminaries!  I will and I will post pictures sometime next week. 

DID YOU KNOW:

People with type 1 diabetes must check their blood sugar (glucose) levels throughout the day using a blood glucose meter. The meter tells them how much glucose is in their blood at that particular moment. Based upon the reading, they take insulin, eat, or modify activity to keep blood sugars within their target range. Regularly checking blood sugar levels is an essential part of type 1 diabetes care.

Checking, or testing, involves taking a drop of blood, usually from the fingertip, and placing it on a special test strip in a glucose meter. Blood sugar meters are easy to use, and even young children often learn quickly how to do their own blood sugar checks. In order to properly manage their diabetes, individuals with type 1 diabetes check their blood sugar levels several times per day. For example, they may test before eating lunch and before strenuous exercise.

Blood sugar levels are measured in milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL). A normal blood sugar level is between 70 and 120 mg/dL. Keeping blood sugar levels within this range may be difficult in children with diabetes. Therefore, an individuals doctor may adjust the target range (for example, 80-180 mg/dL).

However, people with diabetes can't always maintain blood sugar levels within the target range, no matter how hard they try. A person's varying schedules and eating habits, as well as the physical changes that occur as they grow, can send blood sugar levels out of range for no apparent reason. A person with type 1 diabetes should never be made to feel that it is their fault if their blood sugar levels are out of range.

NOVEMBER DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH

Unfortunately, our family does not need a month to make us aware of diabetes.  We are aware of this awful disease 24/7 - 365 days a year.  However, I do believe the only way a cure will be found is to make EVERYONE aware of how awful this disease is. 

I hope to post a couple times a week this month with just random information and thoughts concerning diabetes to help inform and do my part to make others aware.

On Facebook I am a member of several groups concerning diabetes.  One of the fellow members requested that we all wear BLUE on November 2nd for diabetes awareness.  Well if you know our family that is kind of struggle, being Utah Fans! LOL  We lucked out though and lucky for us Dalton's favorite NFL team is the Colts so he had plenty to share and as long as it has a Colts symbol he is good with wearing (BYU) BLUE!  Here are a couple of fun pictures we took this morning before heading to school and work.

His sisters would do anything for this Diabetic!



HAVE YOU KISSED A DIABETIC TODAY!



Never miss an opportunity, you never know how many chances you get with a Diabetic!

Proud Momma of her diabetic!

Come back throughout the month to learn more . . .

FACTS:

What is Diabetes?

Diabetes is a chronic, debilitating disease affecting every organ system. There are two major types of diabetes: type 1 and type 2. Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease in which a person's pancreas stops producing insulin, a hormone that enables people to get energy from food. Type 1 diabetes usually strikes in childhood, adolescence, or young adulthood, and lasts a lifetime. Just to survive, people with type 1 diabetes must take multiple injections of insulin daily or continually infuse insulin through a pump.

Taking insulin does not cure any type of diabetes, nor does it prevent the possibility of the disease's devastating effects: kidney failure, blindness, nerve damage, amputation, heart attack, stroke, and pregnancy complications.

The Scope of Diabetes
•Nearly 24 million Americans have diabetes (7.8 percent of the population):
Diagnosed: 17.9 million
Undiagnosed: 5.7 million
•As many as three million Americans may have type 1 diabetes.
•Diabetes currently affects 285 million people worldwide and is expected to affect 435 million by 2030.
•In the U.S., a new case of diabetes is diagnosed every 30 seconds; more than 1.6 million people are diagnosed each year.

The Cost of Diabetes
•Diabetes is one of the costliest chronic diseases.
•In 2007, diabetes accounted for $174 billion in health care costs in the U.S.
•Diabetes accounts for 32 percent of all Medicare expenditures.
•The nation spent $11,744 annually on each person with diabetes in 2007 compared to $2,935 on each person without diabetes.
•Americans with diabetes incur medical expenses that are approximately 2.3 times higher than those incurred by Americans without diabetes.
•U.S. hospital stays related to diabetes totaled $58.3 billion in 2007.
•An estimated 22 percent of hospital inpatient days in the U.S. were incurred by people with diabetes in 2007.

The Harm Caused by Diabetes

Damage to Many Organ Systems: Diabetes is the leading cause of kidney failure, adult blindness, and non-traumatic amputations. It is also a leading cause of nerve damage.
Increased Heart Disease Risk: People with diabetes are two-to-four times more likely to have a heart attack or stroke than people without the disease.

Shortened Life: Diabetes kills one American every three minutes and is the seventh leading cause of death in the U.S. Life expectancy for people with diabetes has historically been shortened by an average of seven to 10 years, and the risk of death for people with diabetes is about double that of people of similar age without diabetes.

This is only part of the devastating truth, that is why we need a cure and fast!

TO BE HONEST . . .

TO BE HONEST I have never enjoyed Halloween, but I did it for my love of candy.  I hated dressing up in itchy, tight, hot costumes.  I hated it when my mom used substitutes for costume make-up and used homemade remedies like Desitin (butt rash cream) for white make-up, Vaseline with coffee grounds for whiskers and so forth.  You get my idea, don't get me wrong we always had creative costumes and always won prizes, she always went above and beyond and I am very thankful for her talents.

TO BE HONEST I hated carving pumpkins, they stink, it was hard and I had no patience.  It didn't help any that my mom and brother were so talented that they made the best pumpkin faces and did I mention I had no patience to take the time to be creative (I think I get that from my dad, just get it done and cleaned up).

So now the dilemma as a parent, TO BE HONEST I still don't like Halloween but I have the guilt of trying to make Halloween a special holiday for my kids just as it was done for me.  I can't sew like my mother and I don't have near the talent that she has, so my poor kids have resorted to mostly store bought costumes unless they persuade grandma to make it for them LOL.

We have always went to a pumpkin patch to gather our pumpkins.  This year we tried growing our own pumpkins, did not happen (we will leave it at that).  I was a slacker and we did not make it to a patch.  Monday before Halloween I am sitting at work feeling terrible that my kids don't have a pumpkin and we have not been to the patch. I tell their dad and he had a bright idea and it was so much fun.  On the way home from work, I stopped at Walmart bought 6 pumpkins.  When I got home I kept the kids occupied while dad snuck out to our garden spot and placed the pumpkins I bought.  Dad came in the house and made the announcement that we were going to get pumpkins, Whitney was so excited!  They ran to get their coats and headed for the front door.  Dad said "your heading the wrong way, we need to go out the back door"  kids express puzzled looks, Dad said "didn't we plant pumpkins this summer?"  Excitement went to pout faces, all at once they said "they didn't grow!"  Dad told them to take the flashlights out and double check, well the pictures will tell the rest of this story LOL .   .   .   . 

So back to me hating Halloween.  Next comes the carving, Georgie and Dalton dug right in and did not require hardly any help.  YES!  Then there was Whitney, mom I want Scooby Doo.  Go ask your dad!  Well the Dallas Cowboys were on TV so you know his answer.  So it is left up to the MOM WHO HATES HALLOWEEN, my mind starts racing back to all the failed carving attempts from my childhood.  Thinking to myself, I can not disappoint, she wants Scooby . . . Scooby it is.

I gave in, dug deep and found patience. I was surprised at what I could do when I really had to. I am not saying it is perfect, but to Whitney it is and that is all that matters. So TO BE HONEST I guess I don't hate Halloween as much as I thought I did - - - the candy helps too! The following pictures are of our family night of pumpkin finding and carving. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Pumpkin Pizza we ate for Dinner!

Searching the Morgan Pumpkin Patch



So much fun!



Dad watching the Dallas game missing out on the fun!

Dalton Werewolf, Whitney Scooby, Georgie Skull &Bones

All lit up!

WHERE DID OCTOBER GO?????

Wow, I can not believe how fast time can fly.  So just a few random updates that happened since I last posted, no particular order.  Just a quick update as to what our family has been up to.

*Girls have been participating in gymnastics and they love it.  They do miss dance and I wish I could fit that in somewhere, but I don't see it happening any time soon.  See picture below.

*Georgette is still attending activity days she loves it.  Last week they decorated cupcakes.  She is so talented, see picture below.

*Dalton has his last season football game this Saturday, but rumor has it we may fit in the playoffs somewhere so I don't see an end in sight just yet.  Plus, I see that Jr. Jazz sign-ups are coming up around the corner. Once football is done I think I will have him begin gymnastics too, so we can try and build some muscles on that tiny body of his.

*Baby showers the past month, we have been to a shower (Gina) and we have put on a baby shower (Misty).  It has been fun.  The girls enjoyed being in charge at Misty's shower and watching her open the gifts.  They are all so excited for Caden to become a part of our family.  I find myself wandering over to the baby section at most stores and usually picking something up and I have a stash of items for his arrival.

*Funerals, I hate to say it but yes there have been a few funerals and viewings this past month.  It is hard when you grow up in a small town and you know everyone.

*Dentist appointments, wow every time we turn around it seems like it is time for the dentist.  Dalton has been a few times, this past month he has lost 4 teeth and usually all at football or right after football.  I finally asked him if he was remembering to put his mouth piece in.  Whitney lost one this month too!

*Dan, Dalton and Grandpa Morgan traveled to Wolf Creek to go Elk Hunting.  Although the tag was not filled it was a success in the department of good times and memories.  I am glad that they can share those times together and that we are fortunate enough to have the means for them to go and enjoy a weekend away in the great outdoors.

*Teacher Conferences, can you believe it has been mid-term and this Friday will be end of term since the last time I wrote.  Where does the time go.  Dalton is 5th grade (Mrs. Mair) and he loves school, he has grown to love reading, it used to be fight to get him to read, now I am fighting with him to put a book down to go to bed or do his chores.  Very smart boy with an awesome review at parent/teacher night.  Georgette is 3rd grade (Miss Foster) unfortunately she does not share the enthusiasm of reading as her older brother does.  In fact anything to do with literacy, reading, writing, spelling, well it is a fight.  However, math is her strong suite, she will add, subtract, measure and try to multiply anything you give her.  She had an awesome review at conference too.  Well then there is our Whitney who is in 1st grade (Mrs. Anderson) yes we are related, it is Aunt Judy, she is our social butterfly, she loves school, loves her friends, loves her teacher and just loves life in general.  I was impressed when her teacher told me that a day don't go by that Whitney does not compliment her, out of the blue she will say I like your hair, your necklace is beautiful and etc.  I think that is great she is so kind and thinks of others at such a young age.

*Late start Monday's are new at our house.  The kids actually get to sleep in.  When I worked for the school they would call them Early Monday's because they had to be to school earlier than normal and sit in a classroom and wait for me.  Now the agreement is Dad has to use leave once a month and go in late to stay home because mom already arranged her schedule every other school day so that I can drop them off and they don't have to go to a sitter so early.  So far it is working out well.

*My mom had a scary stay in the hospital.  I was at work and received a call that she was going to be admitted and have surgery.  Her gal bladder had stones and they were going to remove it, but when they got in there it was actually dead (gan green).  The surgery took twice as long and she was in the hospital for six days because of fever.  It was scary, but she is improving day by day and will be 100% soon!

*Dan had an opportunity to go Deer hunting with his buddies and dad.  Dalton stayed with me because of football and the weather.  It sounds like they had a cold but fun time.  He shot a deer and was so excited.  He had not shot one in 8 years.  We took it to a taxidermist and will be getting jerky from Thompsons very soon.  See picture below.

*Red Ribbon Week, the kids dressed up every day with something new for Red Ribbon Week at their school, one day was dress from a different era and they chose Hippie Style.  It was so much fun to see their excitement, see picture below.

*Halloween this year will be a bit different for us.  I am still going to let the kids dress up but we won't be doing much trick or treating.  It is Dalton's last game of the season and it is in Oakley so we are leaving after gymnastics Friday and heading to Park City.  We are going to go have a weekend away and relax and enjoy some family time, with no rushing or schedules to stick to other than the game on Saturday.  I am sure we will make at least two trick or treat stops at the grandparents house, but who knows that is the best thing about this weekend we don't have to do anything only what we want YAHOO!  See picture below

Well this is a quick update and I will try to be better about blogging!  I hope everyone is well and enjoying life to the fullest!

Gymnastics

Halloween 2010

Georgette Cupcakes from Activity Days

Hippie Days for Red Ribbon Week @ School

 

Dan's Success



THE BOTTOM LINE IS . . . .

So call it getting old, maturity, adulthood, prime-time, eyes-wide-opened, fully-bloomed, finally time alone to think  .   .  .   .  call it what you may but since I have went back to work my way of thinking has changed.  As I work day to day with many departments throughout the state, with many people at all levels of their career, I have really started observing the BIGGER PICTURE.  Things that I thought I could not live without, have less importance to me.  Notice I said things, not people.  People and my relationships with family and friends have become more important.  I have learned that the world should not (and would never anyway) revolve around Annette's way of thinking.  I have realized the mistakes I have made in relationships with everyone and wished I could go back in time.

I had an experience the other day at work and it really got me thinking and I am so glad this happened early into my employment and not later.  It has helped me grow as a person and it has helped me become a better employee for the job I am doing.  So up until this day, I would read grievance after grievance and my initial response was to be the judge and decide right then and there whether the employee or the department was right without hearing both sides, as you may say, without looking at the BIGGER PICTURE.  So anyway to make a long story short, my boss (who is totally awesome and helped me have this learning lesson) and I was discussing the details of a new matter.  Me being the person I was before, was criticizing the employer for disciplining this employee for what I thought was a very frivolous matter (the use of department materials that in total cost was approximately $15.00 if put in money terms) so after I said my $.02.  My boss then explained, so look at this way, what if this employee worked for a different department lets say, the tax commission and they needed $15.00 so they took it out of their cash drawer, would it still be a frivolous matter to discipline for?  Instantly, I was on the defense of my previous response, well that is different, stealing cash right of a drawer compared to using department equipment.  And so the lesson begins, my boss said .   .  .  Are they both state employees?  My response, "Yes"!  In a matter of speaking did they both steal $15.00?  My response, "Yes, well if you look at the use of equipment in dollar terms."  So with a smirk smile on his face he asked, Would of the cash in the drawer cost the state $15.00 to replace it?  Would the replacement of what was used cost the state $15.00 to replace it?  My response after a long moment of silence "Yes, I never thought of it that way!"  LESSON LEARNED.

How often do we make excuses for our behavior?  How often do we rationalize our misconduct?  The bottom line is we are human, we all want to be successful, we all want to matter, we all want to be happy.  So I challenge you to look at the bigger picture, the next time your blood starts boiling and you feel your about to explode, or the next time you start a statement that is meant to judge someone else, think about the BIGGER PICTURE and don't take everything personally.

I thought to myself I would quietly count in  24 hour period, how many times I heard an excuse throughout the day (even counting my own).  I was amazed, I did not realize how much time the excuses took during the day.  So after a few days of listening, I mean really listening, I made a new rule at our house, I think it is finally catching on, we are a no excuse home LOL  if the kids break something or begin fighting, I ask what happened and as soon as they take ownership I stop them right in mid sentence because think about it, what comes after your initial response to a question especially if you response is unfavorable, AN EXCUSE as to why you did it or why it happened.  So for instance, I would say did you spill your milk?  The kids response normally would be, yes, but it was because ??? was hitting my chair or kicking me under the table.  Now it is did you spill?  Yes because, NO EXCUSES.  You spilled your milk, you clean it up.  I am surprised at how this has cut down on the whining in our house, the blame game and actually resolves issues faster.

I usually don't pass on emails, but the following email I received the other day.  I have read it many times after opening my inbox, in fact read it this morning (actually forwarded it to many of you) and it is the reason for this post.  So I thought I would share it here and hope you will each get your own meaning out of it.

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

so ... Love the people who treat you right.

Forget the ones who don't.

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

So with that being passed on, excuses are garbage, fighting is garbage, judging others is garbage, look at the bigger picture, don't take it personal and from me to you  HAVE A GARBAGE FREE DAY!

XOXOXOXOX

P.S.  I am not saying I am perfect and old habbits are hard to break, but I am trying!

A month called . . . CRAZY!

So I haven't blogged since August 7, 2010, but that does not mean our family has been idle.  Hmmm! Where to begin?  Well Dan and I have continued to work full-time.  The kids were bounced around from sitter - to - sitter the last two weeks before school began.  Football started, which consumed 5 nights a week and a Saturday in August.  As of today, we had our first official game of the season, and now every Saturday for the next 9 weeks will be overtaken by football, GO TOOELE BUFFALO PEEWEE'S!

However, Dan and Dalton was able to sneak off for a night and hike up Settlement, make camp and stay over for the bow hunt.  They had a great time, I found it funny that when they returned home on Sunday after packing in the night before and packing out the next morning, that dad had to take a 3 hour nap and Dalton was still bouncing off the walls.  Youth, wish I could bottle up a little and add with my morning Diet Coke!

The big event this past month was the beginning of school.  It was a change for everyone, mom did not return back to Northlake with the kids.  The kids adjusted fine, but it took mom a couple days to be okay with the idea.  It helped that Grandma Connie has been subbing since the first day and will be there thru next week too.  The morning routine became a little to harsh for some to handle, (won't mention names because I was taught if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all LOL)  anyway, so my work has been kind enough to let me work at home for 1.5 hours in the morning, get the kids off to school and then go into the office, with the ability to make up hours in the evening, on weekends or use leave.  Whatever I choose, so that started last Wednesday.  Two days into it and it seems to be working, other than the fact I should probably be making up hours right now instead of blogging, but that is no fun!

The following is a picture of the kids first day at school.  It was fun this is the first year dad was able to go on the first day with us.  The only bad thing was when I dropped him off, he was able to stay home and play.  I of course headed into work.  Dalton is 5th grade and has Mrs. Mair, he loves it so far.  Georgette is 3rd grade and has Miss Foster, she struggles to love school, but never complains.  My baby Whitney that Daniel is so quick to remind me she is not a baby anymore, well she is 1st grade and has Aunt Judy, ok I know at school she is supposed to say Mrs. Anderson, but who is going to tattle if her and Skylee slip up and call her Aunt Judy, RIGHT!  Judy has had all three of my kiddos and they have enjoyed it.  I will keep you posted how the school year goes!

Two weeks into school and we have already had one stay home sick and one call half a day to come get because he was sick.  I hope that means our sickness is done for the year!  If so glad to get it done and over with.  So other than football, work, football, school and more football we have not done a whole lot this month.  Oh, one more thing because of my work schedule the girls won't be able to take dance this year, they were bummed, but I compromised and next week they will begin gymnastics on Friday's so I can be home to take them.  They seem excited, I hope they enjoy it as much as dance. 

The Beginning of the journey called - - - - TYPE 1!

So as I mentioned a week ago, I have tried many times to put this horrible day into words, but it was not until I read a friends blog that I realized I should not be looking at this day as a negative thing.  I should be thankful and I think with that in mind I may be able to make it through.  I also can not believe how even though it was five years ago it is so fresh on the mind and in the heart.  I actually want to thank her for giving me the strength to post about it.  Ironically, I am finding it kind of therapeutic to put my feelings in black and white, so hang with me.  This posting is definitely more for me than anyone, for the first time as I post  I don't feel like I have to be the strong one, I don't have to be in control and diabetes reminds me I AM NOT!

The Beginning of journey called - - - - - TYPE 1 DIABETES!

AUGUST 1, 2005

Lord, thank you for these little fingers. The battle scars are hard to spot, but without them I wouldn’t have these precious hands to hold.

Lord, thank you for this little smile. Life hurts sometimes. This little smile is a quick reminder that life is good...even when it’s hard.

Lord, thank you for this strong courage. When it feels like I can’t face another day, his courage motivates me to keep fighting.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN .  .   .   .

Just to set this up a little, I remember a month prior to his diagnosis, I commented to several people about how skinny he had gotten.  Many of the answers were the same, I was worrying to much, he was an active boy, it was summer time, and he never sits still what do you expect, I was his mommy I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.  As I sat in the hospital the first night I recalled a day when we traveled from Stockton, to Spanish Fork, to Ogden and back to Stockton, I remember because he asked to go to the bathroom like every half hour, I swear we stopped at every exit on I-15 to find a potty for him.  Finally, in Bountiful I remember asking his dad, is he really going every time or has this become a game for him and his reply was he is really going, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN something was not right.

FRIDAY, JULY 29, 2005

He was having his first cavity filled.  The dentist told me after his cleaning that his teeth were very brittle and not very healthy and he had more cavities than the normal 5 year old.  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN something was wrong, he drank plenty of milk, water, we had brushed them daily since the first little white popped through his little gums.  So anyhow we scheduled his appointment, we decided because of his age, the amount of cavities and condition of his teeth, it would be best to sedate him for the fillings and we would have to do it in two appointments.  So I followed the instructions, no food or drink, other than the medicine the doctor instructed me to give him before arriving.  Once we were there they took him back and done the work we had scheduled.  I remember picking up his tired little body and putting him in his car seat.  He slept all the way home, I stopped to pick up his sisters and he slept and slept.  After arriving home I made a bed on the couch for him and he slept and slept and slept.  I was worried that he would be up all night because of how much he slept that day.  I was wrong, he slept through the night and I had a hard time waking him up early the next morning.

SATURDAY, JULY 30, 2005

I woke him up early because we were going to go to Ophir Days we had gone every year since me and his dad had been married.  They have a big breakfast and his dad helps cook for everyone, so he left earlier than us and I got the 3 kiddos ready and headed up.  Dalton was usually so excited to go up the canyon and always wanted to go to Ophir and never wanted to leave once we were there.  This morning was different, I would wake him and he would look at me and just say mommy I am tired, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.  I kept telling him it was just because of the medicine he had yesterday and once he got up moving around he would feel better.  I forced him to get up and get ready.  Once we were there he just wanted to sit and usually I would have a hard time to get him to sit.  I got the kids food and I remember telling him, just eat look they have sausage which was his favorite.  I remember him being pale and not the usual full of life he always was.  He tried to so hard to eat for me, after he even tried to play on the jump houses and play the games they had, but he just kept saying mom I am so tired.  I remember thinking something was wrong, more than the medicine, more than a flu bug there was something more and I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.  Well I debated taking him to insta care that afternoon, but I was told I was overprotective and that he was just having a reaction to everything that he had undergone the day before.

That afternoon we cut Ophir Day short. I took him home out of the heat and watched as my little boy slipped in and out of sleep.  I remember he kept asking for a drink when he woke up and I convinced him to eat his favorite scrambled egg sandwich.  I remember he began to perk up a little about an hour after eating, so I thought he was coming out of it, but it lasted for short periods of time and I did not take him to just any  doctor and his doctor would not be in until Monday.

SUNDAY, JULY 31, 2005

He woke up pale, skinny and lifeless, but seemed to be more active and awake for longer periods of time.  Still no fever, no complaints of sore throat, in fact drank more than usual.  I decided I would keep him as comfortable as I could throughout the rest of the day and then call his pediatrician first thing in the morning.  I would rather wait and see a doctor I liked and trusted rather than take my chances with on-call insta care doctor. 

AUGUST 1, 2005

I KNEW . . . I remember I was up and dressed and began calling the office 5 minutes prior to their opening until someone answered.  I explained to the nurse and she said I am positive the doctor will want to see you, so just come in and we will fit you in.

I KNEW . . .  that something was wrong.  Something more than just the flu or a reaction to the dentist.  I had already made arrangements with my mom to keep the girls, she came and picked them up as I loaded my little 5 year old, lifeless boy into his car seat.  He did not even wake to see his grandma, so I KNEW something was wrong.  I remember looking in the rear view mirror watching him sleep, I remember not even having the radio on because I was trying to listen to his breathing.  After arriving to the office, I remember trying to get him to wake up and he could not even open his eyes, there was only a little lip movement as he tried to respond.  I know you are thinking why did I not go right to the ER, it is a question I ask myself every time I recall this day.  He just kept telling me mommy I am tired.  As I scooped him into my arms I carried him into the office, up the elevator and to the front desk.  The receptionist told me I could fill out the paper work once I got him in a room, I KNEW . . . something then was wrong, they never let you do that.  I barely sat and got him situated into my lap and Nurse Lori came out, she didn't wait by the door for us as usual.  I remember she came over to help me up and carried my purse as we followed her into the room.  She didn't ask me about his history or symptoms  I KNEW something was wrong, she did not even leave the room and Dr. Havlick came in, I KNEW it was bad, I never see him that quick without waiting.  He asked if I thought I could get a urine sample.  I remember scooping Dalton into my arms, juggling the urine cup and heading around the corner to the bathroom.  As I squatted, I leaned him up against my body fo support as I got prepared to capture the urine, he just kept saying. "Mommy I am tired".

As I walked back through the doorway, Nurse Lori was still in the room, she said Dr. Havlick would be right back.  It didn't even seem like 1 minute and he opened the door.  He said Annette, Dalton's urine is full of large Ketones.  I remember thinking okay what is that?  He said I can't be for certain and I don't want to scare you, but Dalton could be diabetic.  I remember saying "what do I do?"  He told me he could draw blood for certain, but if he was he would be sending me to Primary Childrens Hospital, at which point they would have to do their own tests, so instead of putting him through it twice, he recommended that I take him there and they could help me more than he could.  The tears began, I didn't want to cry, I tried to stop the tears, but they came and they came as I gathered up my things and my little boy in my arms once again.  Dr. Havlick kept asking are you going to be ok?  Do you want someone to drive you?  Do you want us to call an ambulance?  I remember I got very defensive, almost angry.  I chose to drive him myself it was only 10 minutes away.  Dr. Havlick said he would call ahead and inform them of his findings so I would not have to wait.

Everything from there happened so fast, I remember putting him in the seat next to me.  Yes, I know he was not old enough to sit up front and not in his car seat, but at the time I wanted him close to me.  I wanted to talk to him and try to keep him awake.  I had a friend in high school who was diabetic, I knew what could happen or would happen if he fell asleep and I couldn't wake him up.  Thank God for cell phones, I called my husband at work first so he could begin the hour long drive, I then called my parents to let them know I would not be home for awhile.  They met up with my husband and drove in together.  After hanging up the phone I don't remember a thing until I walked in the ER. I don't remember parking or the drive there, but I remember walking in the automatic doors with Dalton cradled in my arms.  A nurse met me at the double doors, she asked if that was Dalton Morgan, when I confirmed it was we walked right past the registration desk, through another set of double doors and right into the first room on the right.  I laid him on the bed and she began taking vitals, hooking up machines and telling me everything would be fine.  I remember her drawing tube after tube of blood and Dalton not even moving as they tied the wrap around his arm and then poked the needle in and drew tube after tube of blood.  Before they were even finished getting the blood they needed another nurse was in there prepping the other arm for a liquid IV.  He just laid there, I KNEW, something more was wrong.  The questions started why did I wait, why didn't I bring him sooner, what kind of mother am I?

After what felt like an eternity, Dalton began responding to my voice again, the needle in his arm was making him uncomfortable, I remember being so happy that he was in pain, because it meant he felt something and he was opening his eyes more.  By the time his dad and grandparents arrived, he was actually starting to ask for food, he was hungry.  He wanted to watch tv which I gladly let him anything to keep his eyes open.  The doctor came in and told us the final diagnoses and that is was confirmed he had TYPE 1 Diabetes.

As he explained we would be in the hospital for almost a week learning, what it was, how to take care of it and so forth, I remember thinking why me, I can't do this.  My parents waited patiently until they got us settled into our room.  I walked out to the parking lot with them and I remember sobbing uncontrollably, telling my mom I can't do this.  She calmly said "you don't have a choice, we will be here to help in any way we can."  She also reminded me "Sis, God don't give you anything you can't handle".  My mom has always had a way of making me believe I can do anything, and when in doubt bluntly reminding me I don't have a choice.  I love her for that and am very thankful for her love, support and help.  I had never left my kids overnight before and now I had to leave my 19 month old and my 3 year old for a week.

As I walked back to the room, where Dalton and my husband were, I remember thinking I was so out of control, when I am so used to being in control of everything.  Literally in control of everything, me, my kids, my husband, my house, everything and now Diabetes was in control.  It was telling me I had to leave my girls for a week, I had to stay in the hospital for a week, I had to learn things I had no desire to learn.  I went from the parking lot of thinking poor me to a hospital room thinking this is BS.  I was angry as I watched my boy get is finger poked every hour to test, I was angry that we had to learn new things.  I was angry that I brought a 5 year old through the hospital doors and he had to grow up beyond his years in one week. 

I read, listened and did more in that one week than I cared to do.  I remember my attitude was if I would have wanted to be a nurse I would have went to school for it. I was an angry mom, I was tired of hearing how lucky I was that we caught it as early as we did, I was angry every time I heard it could be worse, at least once you get him home it is treatable at home.  I remember agreeing but thinking easy for you to say, if it is so easy why is it happening to me and not them.  I met with more doctors, counselors, dietitians and so forth than I cared to meet and talk with.  I was mad and very angry, putting on a strong front when visitors would stop by or call.  In reality I hated it, I hated every minute of it.

The day we were to go home, I went from angry at the world, to angry at myself.  Did I learn enough? Can I take care of him?  What am I going to do an hour away from his doctor or hospital?  Will I remember everything?  Why did I waste so much of the week being angry, did I learn what I needed to?  As we got discharged, my little boy had grown, he was handling diabetes much easier than I was.  I remember on the drive home I watched him, just as I had 5 years ago on the way home from the hospital when he was born.

We arrived home and his sisters were there waiting with grandma and grandpa.  He told them story after story about the hospital, about how much fun he had, how cool this was and that was.  He made it sound like he had just returned from Disney Land.  Then it happened, it was time to test.  The first testing experience at home, the look on his face melted my heart.  Because he was so young he had believed once we were out of the hospital he was fine.  He had not realized that the testing and shots came home with us as well.  As we explained to him this was a life change, he cried, he didn't want to do it.   I wanted to cry, I didn't want to do it either.  I felt like we were starting all over again.

It has been five years and six days to date and I can remember it like it was yesterday.  Life is hard, it is not fun at times, but because Dalton is still full of life it makes it all worth it.  He is a trooper, he is much older than a 10 year old in spirit.  It has changed our life, our family and the way we do things but as long as I wake up each day and I am able to share it with him I will "TRY"not to complain, because it could be worse a lot worse.

I LOVE YOU DALTON